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From a recent article in the New York Times: “The Cleveland Clinic has lent its name and backup services to a string of CVS drugstore clinics in northeastern Ohio. And the Mayo Clinic is in the game, operating one Express Care clinic at a supermarket in Rochester, Minn.” (“Hospitals Begin to Move Into Supermarkets,” May 11, 2009).
“How may I help you?”
“I need frozen peas, strawberry jam, and a skin cancer screen.”
“Frozen peas, aisle 6; jams and preserves, aisle 8; skin screens right here.”
“Right here? Terrific.”
“Yes. Please undress and we'll have a look.”
“In the aisle?”
“Just kidding. You can proceed to the booth next to the deli counter. Have you seen a dermatologist lately?”
“Yes. I got a screen at CostSlasher last month.”
“Then why do you need another one?”
“I just finished a tanning series to get ready for a cruise, and I'm feeling guilty and vulnerable. Do you offer other services besides skin cancer screening?”
“Sure. What else have you got?”
“I have this wart on my index finger—OUCHHHH! What was that?”
“Liquid nitrogen. What else is going on?”
“I've been breaking out.”
“Cleansers, aisle 12, and here's a prescription.”
“Thanks. Can I fill it anywhere?”
“We have an exclusive with MachDonald's Pharmacy. Is there anything else?”
“My wife gave me a list. Let's see, laundry detergent, milk, whole wheat muffins—oh, yes, she wants you to look at this mole on my scalp. HEY, CUT THAT OUT!”
“I just performed a shave biopsy. We'll mail you the results next week with the next batch of coupons. Please take this card.”
“What is it?”
“Log onto our Web site and enter this eight-digit alphanumeric code. It makes you a member of our SuperSlashShopper VIP Club, which entitles you to one emergency appointment at one of our offices for the next 6 weeks.”
“Well, I guess all I need is that skin screen.”
“Before you get undressed, would you like e-mail updates about our specials?”
“No thanks.”
“In that case, I'll tell you about them now. Refer a friend or family member and get 15% off any three products in our signature, private-label skin care line.”
“Okay. I'll see.”
“Removal of pigmented spots, half price?”
“No thanks.”
“Laser off two blood vessels, get the third one free?”
“Not interested.”
“How about a package of three photorejuvenation sessions at 20% off?”
“No, thank you. Wait. I just remembered, my wife needs help with a coleslaw recipe using low-fat mayonnaise.”
“Mayo Clinic, aisle 3. Cleveland Clinic, aisle 2. Well, thanks for coming.”
“Hold on. What about my skin screen?”
“Sorry, I forgot. Why did you want another one?”
“I'm tanned, guilty, and vulnerable.”
“Right. In that case you should see my colleague.”
“What colleague?”
“A psychiatrist. He's in fresh produce, behind the broccoli. Next!”
From a recent article in the New York Times: “The Cleveland Clinic has lent its name and backup services to a string of CVS drugstore clinics in northeastern Ohio. And the Mayo Clinic is in the game, operating one Express Care clinic at a supermarket in Rochester, Minn.” (“Hospitals Begin to Move Into Supermarkets,” May 11, 2009).
“How may I help you?”
“I need frozen peas, strawberry jam, and a skin cancer screen.”
“Frozen peas, aisle 6; jams and preserves, aisle 8; skin screens right here.”
“Right here? Terrific.”
“Yes. Please undress and we'll have a look.”
“In the aisle?”
“Just kidding. You can proceed to the booth next to the deli counter. Have you seen a dermatologist lately?”
“Yes. I got a screen at CostSlasher last month.”
“Then why do you need another one?”
“I just finished a tanning series to get ready for a cruise, and I'm feeling guilty and vulnerable. Do you offer other services besides skin cancer screening?”
“Sure. What else have you got?”
“I have this wart on my index finger—OUCHHHH! What was that?”
“Liquid nitrogen. What else is going on?”
“I've been breaking out.”
“Cleansers, aisle 12, and here's a prescription.”
“Thanks. Can I fill it anywhere?”
“We have an exclusive with MachDonald's Pharmacy. Is there anything else?”
“My wife gave me a list. Let's see, laundry detergent, milk, whole wheat muffins—oh, yes, she wants you to look at this mole on my scalp. HEY, CUT THAT OUT!”
“I just performed a shave biopsy. We'll mail you the results next week with the next batch of coupons. Please take this card.”
“What is it?”
“Log onto our Web site and enter this eight-digit alphanumeric code. It makes you a member of our SuperSlashShopper VIP Club, which entitles you to one emergency appointment at one of our offices for the next 6 weeks.”
“Well, I guess all I need is that skin screen.”
“Before you get undressed, would you like e-mail updates about our specials?”
“No thanks.”
“In that case, I'll tell you about them now. Refer a friend or family member and get 15% off any three products in our signature, private-label skin care line.”
“Okay. I'll see.”
“Removal of pigmented spots, half price?”
“No thanks.”
“Laser off two blood vessels, get the third one free?”
“Not interested.”
“How about a package of three photorejuvenation sessions at 20% off?”
“No, thank you. Wait. I just remembered, my wife needs help with a coleslaw recipe using low-fat mayonnaise.”
“Mayo Clinic, aisle 3. Cleveland Clinic, aisle 2. Well, thanks for coming.”
“Hold on. What about my skin screen?”
“Sorry, I forgot. Why did you want another one?”
“I'm tanned, guilty, and vulnerable.”
“Right. In that case you should see my colleague.”
“What colleague?”
“A psychiatrist. He's in fresh produce, behind the broccoli. Next!”
From a recent article in the New York Times: “The Cleveland Clinic has lent its name and backup services to a string of CVS drugstore clinics in northeastern Ohio. And the Mayo Clinic is in the game, operating one Express Care clinic at a supermarket in Rochester, Minn.” (“Hospitals Begin to Move Into Supermarkets,” May 11, 2009).
“How may I help you?”
“I need frozen peas, strawberry jam, and a skin cancer screen.”
“Frozen peas, aisle 6; jams and preserves, aisle 8; skin screens right here.”
“Right here? Terrific.”
“Yes. Please undress and we'll have a look.”
“In the aisle?”
“Just kidding. You can proceed to the booth next to the deli counter. Have you seen a dermatologist lately?”
“Yes. I got a screen at CostSlasher last month.”
“Then why do you need another one?”
“I just finished a tanning series to get ready for a cruise, and I'm feeling guilty and vulnerable. Do you offer other services besides skin cancer screening?”
“Sure. What else have you got?”
“I have this wart on my index finger—OUCHHHH! What was that?”
“Liquid nitrogen. What else is going on?”
“I've been breaking out.”
“Cleansers, aisle 12, and here's a prescription.”
“Thanks. Can I fill it anywhere?”
“We have an exclusive with MachDonald's Pharmacy. Is there anything else?”
“My wife gave me a list. Let's see, laundry detergent, milk, whole wheat muffins—oh, yes, she wants you to look at this mole on my scalp. HEY, CUT THAT OUT!”
“I just performed a shave biopsy. We'll mail you the results next week with the next batch of coupons. Please take this card.”
“What is it?”
“Log onto our Web site and enter this eight-digit alphanumeric code. It makes you a member of our SuperSlashShopper VIP Club, which entitles you to one emergency appointment at one of our offices for the next 6 weeks.”
“Well, I guess all I need is that skin screen.”
“Before you get undressed, would you like e-mail updates about our specials?”
“No thanks.”
“In that case, I'll tell you about them now. Refer a friend or family member and get 15% off any three products in our signature, private-label skin care line.”
“Okay. I'll see.”
“Removal of pigmented spots, half price?”
“No thanks.”
“Laser off two blood vessels, get the third one free?”
“Not interested.”
“How about a package of three photorejuvenation sessions at 20% off?”
“No, thank you. Wait. I just remembered, my wife needs help with a coleslaw recipe using low-fat mayonnaise.”
“Mayo Clinic, aisle 3. Cleveland Clinic, aisle 2. Well, thanks for coming.”
“Hold on. What about my skin screen?”
“Sorry, I forgot. Why did you want another one?”
“I'm tanned, guilty, and vulnerable.”
“Right. In that case you should see my colleague.”
“What colleague?”
“A psychiatrist. He's in fresh produce, behind the broccoli. Next!”